Femininity & Modesty: Why They go Hand in Hand

Oh, look!  This is a draft post I had forgotten about entirely!  I wrote it for Maidens for Mary which has sadly become dormant.  But why shouldn't I publish it here?

 Femininity and modesty are two terms often used together.  They evoke some of the same images in our minds.  When I think of femininity, I picture dainty hands, laces, frilly clothes, and light hues.  These things may come to mind when you think of modesty too.  These thoughts are not necessarily universal though.   Maybe when you think femininity, you think soft, fragile, or weak but that is not what femininity is.  Modesty does not have to be all pink and frilly either!  So let's talk about what femininity and modesty truly are and how they go hand in hand.

Femininity is having the qualities of a woman or lady.  In order to understand what those qualities are, we have to look at the original design of women.  In the beginning, we know God created both man and woman in His image; they were different from each other and unique, yet complimentary.  Woman was created out of the rib of man; the closest to his heart and under his arm for protection.  The woman, by her man's side, supports him and uplifts him.

  Woman was designed to be a companion for man.  God said it Himself, "It is not good for man to be alone: let us make him a help like unto himself." (Gen. 2:18)  "And Adam called the name of his wife Eve: because she was the mother of all the living." (Gen. 3:20)  As women, we are gifted with the special privilege of being mothers, nurturers, and healers.  This is the first quality of femininity.  As nurturers, women possess a gentility and special touch that elevates man and his works.  The man and woman work together to make a house a home and to fill life with love.

But what if you're not married?  What if you're called to consecrate yourself to God alone in the religious life?  What if you're just a girl in school single as a pringle?  How can you use your femininity?  There are many ways really.  We are, in fact, called to be feminine before we are called to be wives.  Every woman and girl can make her dwelling a happy place and can nurture those around her.  Maybe you like to prepare food and special dishes for your family.  Or you could bring a feminine touch to your residence by arranging it and keeping it clean.  Your work doesn't have to be fancy or frivolous.  I don't think I could ever be a professional space designer.  I don't have that artistic tendency, but I can still exercise my feminine touch by keeping things neat and tidy.  

Maybe you're not a mother, but you can still nurture those around you with care, compassion, and encouragement.  If you have younger siblings, a little patience can go a long way.  Support a friend through a rough time.  Help your parents and be understanding with them.  I know it can be hard.  Not only is it necessary, but it is a good help in practicing these virtues which you will need in the future, no matter where life takes you.

Now, remember I said that the privilege of nurturing and motherhood is the first quality of femininity?  Because of this, our bodies are sacred temples, not only of the Holy Spirit but of creation too.  We are instruments of God's creation.  He creates new human souls in us.  So we must protect, honor, and respect our bodies with modesty.  The dictionary defines modesty as "regard for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc."  We should act in a way that respects our bodies and does not make them an image of neglect or objectivity.  We do this in our actions, words, and dress.

So modesty does not necessarily mean fancy and frilly but it means that we act and dress in a way that acknowledges and protects our feminine qualities.  Some people think modesty is only about clothes and act in an immodest way while others think that as long as they act modestly and have the right intentions, it doesn't matter how they dress.  We are both physical and spiritual beings though, so we must practice modesty inside and out.  The modesty of our dress should complement the modesty of our actions and vice-versa.

We veil the sacred.  From the tabernacle at Mass to the bride at her wedding, the Church has long taught us to veil what we hold sacred out of reverence and as an outward sign of inward realities.  a woman's body too, as a sacred temple for the creation of human life, is veiled in modest attire.  I'm sure I don't need to go over every detail of modesty with you as it is a very charged topic but remember a veil is something that covers, separates, screens, or conceals, it does not cling to the object it veils.  Remember that you are a sacred temple created for taking part in God's act of creation and veil your body in a way that compliments that.

So let us cultivate our feminity by supporting and uplifting our men, by nurturing and caring for the souls of all those who come under our domains, and by respecting the temples of our bodies in modesty of dress and action.  Let us be proud to be women who are endowed by God with these wonderful gifts!

What of these feminine qualities would you like me to dive deeper into in a future post?  Please do tell in the comments below!  God bless you!

In cordibus Jesu et Mariae,

Sarah