16 Things to Expect When Dating a Catholic Woman: My Revision

 If you come across a list-type article claiming to be Catholic on secular blog sites such as The Odyssey Online or BuzzFeed, spare yourself and don't bother clicking on them.  😅  I've seen a couple quick lists like this before and while they're written by someone claiming to be Catholic, they usually do not reflect Holy Mother Church's teaching but a very secular, haphazard view of Catholic life.  They're pretty goofy and fall short of what to expect of true Catholic girls.  So today, I'd like to revise this list of 16 things to expect when dating a Catholic girl.  The original list was directed mostly to non-Catholic men but I think even Catholic men can take notes from this list.

First issue: You don't date a Catholic, you court her with the purpose of discerning marriage!  😉

Second issue: The article claims "Depending on the woman or her intensity, don't worry about her forcing her religion upon you. It's a stereotype."  That's true, but we will desire and pray for your conversion!  We don't force but we definitely want to be instruments of God's grace and will naturally bring up the beauty of the Faith anytime we can!  The goal of matrimony is to get our spouses and children to Heaven, of course!

Now, on to the 16 things to expect.  I've taken each title from the article and then revised it or given my comments below:

1. Church before dates

       

    This is one they do get right. Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation are super important to her faith. If she asks you to go along, do!! Just use your senses to take in the beautiful sights and sounds of Holy Mass. The Mass is the source and summit of her Catholic Faith so she would highly appreciate your respect and attention.

2. She respects her body

    Yes, this title is true, but according to Catholic teaching and contrary to the caption in the odyssey's list, a true Catholic couple will always save themselves for marriage because the right to the other person's body is a gift of matrimony.  So not only does she respect her own body, but she respects yours.  If your relationship doesn't work out, you will not have given yourselves to each other prematurely and you will have protected the gift of yourself for the person you marry.  This statement could go one step further because some Catholic girls may want to save other physical parts of a relationship for engagement or even the wedding day such as handholding and kissing.  It may sound weird at first but saving these bonding moments for the time when the two people are wholly committed to each other allows for courtship to be a fruitful time of getting to know one another without creating harmful attachments or distractions. 

3. Her family and friends mean the world to her

    Ok, also correct.  Not only does the Catholic girl appreciate you respecting her family but she's actually watching to see how you treat her family and your own.  A girl can tell a lot about how you will treat her by the way you treat your own mother, sisters, and other women in your life.  The fruits of marriage are family life so a Catholic girl wants to make sure you will provide and care for your future family.

4. She is loyal to a fault

    Loyal?  Yes.  To a fault?  Eeehhh... 🤔  A true Catholic girl will have her priorities of loyalty straight.  She is loyal to God first and foremost.  A Catholic young woman should also be loyal to her father who is her head until she is given away in matrimony.  And then to a degree, she is loyal to her friends.  Yes, we are called to forgive our enemies and pray for those who persecute us, but that most certainly does not mean a girl has to put up with any shenanigans.  From the points above, you can tell that a Catholic girl values virtue and faithfulness.

5. She will be praying for you and encouraging you to pray

    

    Also, not wrong.  Again, a Catholic woman will not "force" her religion upon you, but if she cares about you that means that she cares about your eternal soul even more.  She knows that each and every person was created for eternity in Heaven contemplating God in all His perfection and united in perfect charity with the saints and angels.  So you can be sure she's praying for your conversion; for your openness to God's grace and His merciful love to be poured into your heart.

6. Divorce scares her

   

     "Scares" is an interesting and inaccurate word to use.  A Catholic young woman shouldn't even believe in divorce.  When you say "I do", it is until death do you part and not before.  A discussion of your opinions on divorce should definitely be had but do not be deterred by her rejection of divorce.  This means that she values the sacrament of Matrimony and her vow to her future husband.  Once she is married, she is in it for the long haul to pick up her cross alongside her husband and follow Christ.

7. She may want a big family

    To be more accurate, a Catholic girl will be open to as many children as the Good Lord wills to send.  God's first commandment to man is to be fruitful and multiply. (See Genesis 1:28.)  The purpose of marriage is to create more souls for the kingdom of Heaven and to work to get them there.  So sure, a Catholic young woman may want a big family, but more importantly, she wants a family according to God's providence.

8. She loves to talk about the future

    Ok, true.  She will most definitely be interested in knowing your views on a slew of questions and will seek to discover what virtues you value.  Dating, or more appropriately, courting is the time when two people get to know if they would be suitable matches for each other in marriage.  It's naturally a time of questions about the future!

9. She'll always love God above all things

    100% true statement.  Not only should you respect that, but you should appreciate it!  She loves Love Himself and this love is being poured into her heart to be shared with all those she comes in contact with.  This is not a superficial or mushy kind of love.  It is charity; willing the good of the other.  So because she has a deep love of God, she will also love those whom God gives her very deeply with a self-giving and sacrificial love.

10. She may tell you all about her favorite Saints

  

     Guilty as charged.  They're not just our fairy tales like the article attests, but they're so much more!  (We like fairy tales too, by the way.)  The Saints are actual people of history who lead exemplary and heroic lives of virtue.  They are our role models who are now also our intercessors in Heaven.  Not only will a Catholic girl pray for you, but she'll also recruit her heavenly team of patron Saints to pray for you as well.  When she starts to tell you about her favorite Saints, listen and learn about her rich Catholic history!

11. She may be a little naughty

    Ok, this is where they lose it.  The whole caption of this one... *cringe*  Catholic girls who know the teachings of the Church know the rules are there to help us get to Heaven.  We love Holy Mother Church and want to be her humble children listening trustingly to Her teachings.  A Catholic girl shouldn't want to push boundaries because that could result in her being outside of God's grace and offending the Lord she loves.  Does this mean Catholic girls don't know how to have fun?  Of course not!  But she knows she doesn't have to sacrifice her virtue or reputation to have it.

12. Holidays are really important to her

    Ok, nice little diversion there after number 11.  🙄  Yes, the Holy Days of the Church are very important to her.  Each of these feasts is a great opportunity for grace and to celebrate the Faith that is so dear to her.

13. Her favorite TV shows may be all on TV Land

   

     Eh, maybe.  Andy Griffith, I Love Lucy, and other classic TV shows are favorites but I'll be willing to bet a lot of her favorite TV shows are based on classic books.  Think Pride & Prejudice, Emma, Anne of Green Gables (Not you, Netflix 😡), North & South, All Creatures Great & Small, and other classics.  If it involves chivalry, virtue, sweeping country scapes, and tea, count her in! 😉  Movies on the lives of the Saints are also a huge plus.  

14. Her dream vacation is somewhere in Europe

   

     Ha!  That is probably true.  Good job on that one.

15. She will love you unconditionally

    'Unconditionally' is a strong word for dating, but I think the sentiment is true.  A Catholic woman's love is strong, true, self-sacrificing, and Christ-like.  It has so much more depth than a self-seeking and carnal "love."  But the article is right; you do not want to mistreat her or disrespect this love because...

16. She is fierce

    This soldier of Christ has an invisible army of angels and Saints assisting her on this journey to Heaven.  

So, what do you think?  Was the original list good enough?  Was I just copying a sufficient list?  Or was it sorely lacking in the beautiful benefits of discerning marriage with a Catholic woman?  Please let me know what you thought in the comments below!  What are some other things to expect when courting a Catholic woman?  I thought this was a fun little revision to do in light of true Catholicism.  I hope you enjoyed it!!

In cordibus Jesu et Mariae,

Sarah

Decluttering for the Stay-at-Home Daughter

Fake flowers for St. Therese's costume...

 Oh boy... where to start?  That's exactly how I felt about deep cleaning and decluttering my bedroom of 9 years.    I've lived at home my whole life and my family has only ever lived in two houses.  The first one housed my childhood until I was 13 and the second one has seen me grow up into a young adult.  I've never gone to college or moved out for any reason, so my room is the only place in the entire world that contains all my belongings since I was small.  I've never gone through any real personality changes or dramatic phases so my room hasn't seen any drastic changes either.  I'm actually quite happy with my room and I don't think it's too "little girlish" for the most part.  It's pink and dainty with everything that expresses who I am.  But after 9 years in a house and 20 some years of living, I've accumulated a lot of stuff and the room needed a (not so little) tidy up. 

I actually started this process more than a year ago when I sold my childhood bookshelves.  They were these cute dollhouse units but they just didn't provide enough space for my growing collection.  So I sold them without actually having a replacement.  I sadly packed my beloved books away in storage only keeping out a few important ones such as my Bible and my current Catholic reads.  

But bringing our focus to the present day, I started the room declutter with my dresser.  It had become a catch-all for receipts, papers, and any other small random items that may or may not have had a place.  I started by clearing out all the receipts because if I'm not looking at them on my boombox, I'll never need to look at them.  I put all the random little items away that I could and then I set to decluttering my pens.  I had two mugs of pens, markers, and other utensils but I knew some needed to go.  I tested all my pens to make sure they were still working and threw out any that weren't.  I said goodbye to the bunches of fake flowers I had from my St. Therese costume years ago and put them in a giveaway bag.  I finally returned the larger of the two mugs to the kitchen and kept one small mug for my working writing supplies.  I'm so happy with a clean dresser that is useful and displays the things I love.

Before

After

You see, in my quest to declutter my room, I looked up plenty of ideas and guides on Pinterest (therefore spending more time on my phone than cleaning my room 😅🙄) and I came across the popular KonMari method of decluttering.  But this method isn't appropriate for Catholics because it's based on pagan ideals and you're instructed to keep only the things that "spark joy" while thanking the items that you're discarding for the service they did you.  But this isn't practical for a Catholic so I had to come up with a better method.  

Thankfully, I found this wonderful blog post from Joyfully Domestic that provides a Catholic alternative to KonMari and explains why that method isn't suitable. 

But for myself and other stay-at-home daughters, I decided we needed something a little more specific to us.  We're not getting rid of long-ago childhood possessions but things that are near and dear to our hearts.  We're also not decluttering a whole house but just our own small domain, our bedrooms.  So here are some tips I discovered for myself.

After

Before

First, make a time when you won't be interrupted very much if it's possible.  If you're like me, you work better when you have a significant amount of time to devote to the task at hand.

Put away any and all laundry in your room, the clean, the dirty, and the forgotten.  Set aside anything that's too small or you don't wear anymore for giveaway and...

Grab a few bags for trash, recycling, and giveaway.  It doesn't matter if there's a recycle bin in the kitchen or the garage, you'll thank me later that you made your own recycling out of a paper bag just for this project.  (Especially if you're a paper hoarder like me.🙃)

Also, grab a dust cloth.  You'll probably need it.  Dust books, statues, and surfaces as you go!

Speaking of paper, clean up any papers lying around your room willy-nilly.  (Don't start with the big stacks at first.  Leave them where they are and tackle them later.)  Just take care of the random ones on top of things such as receipts.

Put away odds and ends around the room first that you know have homes.  These can be items you dumped out of your purse in a rush or threw in your room to be put away later when cleaning the house.

Now that your room is relatively tidy, you can get into the decluttering part.

They say it's easiest to start with your closet but I was overwhelmed by decluttering my closet, so I put that off.  Instead, I started with my books, journals, notebooks, and papers.  Thankfully, we do have a retired schoolroom that houses all my homeschooling history but all of my personal papers are in my room so materials from retreats, hobbies, and gifts take up a lot of space.  Go through all the papers and recycle any extras, scrap paper, old bulletins, magazines, etc.  If you like to keep childhood drawings and papers, keep them in a specific folder so they won't fall all over your shelves.  

Separate out all of your holy cards and religious papers so you can keep them somewhere you can easily access them for prayer.

Set any books you know you won't read in the giveaway bag and return any that belong to your family out to their proper shelves.

If you keep gift or package wrapping supplies in your room but have a place for them in your house, return them there.  It's so much easier to look for them all in one place when you need them.  Also, return craft supplies to their rightful home if it's not in your room. 

After all of this decluttering (which only made a small dent), it was time to move my dresser because...

I finally got a bookshelf!!!    

I lit it with a strand of fairy lights from Amazon and... voila!!

And now here it is in all of its glory with my most favorite books.  I still have a ton of books in boxes in the garage.  (Spot my knitting basket on the side.)  There is still some organizing to do because you see the stack of books laying down are actually from a Catholic YA book giveaway I won and I have yet to read them.  They were just sitting in a box on my floor before, though, so I figured I should put them on my shelf so I'll be motivated to read them.  We'll see if they make the cut for favorites.

Did you find this decluttering adventure helpful?  If so, please do let me know if you'd like me to do another post as I have yet to declutter much more of my room.  Will I be a minimalist by the end of all this?  Definitely no.  Will a clean and tidy room aid peace of mind, yep.  When we keep a clean house and room, we have more room for God in our thoughts.

In the hearts of Jesus and Mary,

Sarah

Roe Vs. Wade is Gone: My Thoughts and What we can do!

I wrote this post back in June right after Roe was overturned.  Sorry it's so late!  But we can't forget what a blessing this was to our country and our work isn't over yet.  So let's remember what this means and what we can do!!

"Hey Hey! Ho Ho!  Roe V Wade has got to go!!"

Oh, wait, IT'S GONE!! 

Friends, 

12-week fetal model.

So many emotions and thoughts have been running through my mind these last 48 hours.  Roe vs. Wade has been overturned!  I'm so thankful to God for this great step forward in our country.  So much of what has taken place in the last few years has been discouraging but today, there is hope!  It is certainly not the end of abortion in America.  There is so much we have yet to do but this is an encouraging and energizing development in the battle for the sanctity of life.  

My mom woke me up the morning of June 24th with the news and we sat down to watch some of the coverage.  I couldn't help crying tears of joy and thanksgiving.  I knew the decision could come soon, but each day that passed made me hesitant.  Would the justices stand up against the pressure?  I knew Roe would be overturned in my lifetime.  It had to be; I just felt it.  My friends, family, and I have been praying for this day for a long time; and so many have been praying even longer.  But it just seemed like it came out of nowhere all of a sudden.  I had to question, could this really be it so soon?  So many hundreds of thousands, probably even millions, of people have prayed, marched, advocated, suffered, and fought for this day.  Could we be receiving such an awesome answer to prayer?  We did.  

What does the overturning of Roe mean for America?  It means that the killing of babies is not enshrined in our land.  The Constitution does not give anyone that right.  It means that God can bless our land more abundantly because our nation has said, we were wrong; we have sinned.  The overturning of Roe does not outlaw abortion outright.  It only states that the right to abort a baby in the womb is not in the Constitution.  Now the decision goes back to each individual state where lawmakers elected by the people can decide what is to be allowed.  Are some states outlawing abortion?  Yes, but others are going to grow their abortion businesses like my home state.  This means our work is not done.  In fact, it is far from done.

Now that the federal government has left it up to the states to decide, we must make sure to elect lawmakers who will continue to defend the little babies in the womb.  We must educate our fellow Americans on the dignity and sanctity of life.  We must help mothers, fathers, and their families facing pregnancies they were not prepared for.  The pro-life community has done this for decades and we will continue doing so with a renewed passion.  Pregnancy resource centers, shelters, food banks, and adoption agencies are ready and longing to help.  You see, they give you lots of options.  The pro-abortion movement only gives you one choice; death for the baby and an empty hole in your heart.  

There are so many arguments surfacing once again but we've heard them all.  No matter what you say, no matter how you categorize, no matter how the conception took place, a new, unique, and unrepeatable life is created at the moment of conception.  It is terribly sad when women are abused but killing a child for the crime of the father is not the answer.  We should protect and support young girls who find themselves facing a pregnancy they weren't prepared for.  It's sad when people are born into poverty, but your surroundings don't define your worth.  We should be working as a community to lift up those around us in poverty and give them the tools they need to succeed.  Isn't that what makes America so great?  For years we've said that America is the land where people have a better chance at life; where they can make their dreams a reality.  Every single baby, every single child, every single person brought into existence deserves to live their life to the fullest.  Unfortunately, many abortions are committed just for the sake of convenience.  No life is expendable for convenience's sake though; not yours, mine, that of the little baby in the womb, or a baby outside of the womb.

How can we tackle this monumental task?  America is so big and so many people are obstinately set against us!  We have to start in our own families, neighborhoods, churches, and communities.  If we do not teach our children from a young age about the sanctity of marriage, the sanctity of life, and the moral evils of abortion, the world will seduce our children with their conniving lies.  They will tell our children that they need to kill their babies or they will die.  This isn't true.  Instead, we must teach our children by our loving example that no human being is a burden.  We can provide the support and care that those around us need.  You or I can't solve the issues worldwide, but if each of us strives every day to show love and value life, we can and will make an impact.  Eventually, your one drop will create a ripple that your community, nation, and even the whole world will feel.  We may not see the effects in our lifetime, but no service, even the smallest, goes unnoticed by God.  I'm so thankful to have been one of the many souls who prayed and marched for Roe to be overturned.  We weren't sure when our efforts would bear fruit, but now we have proof that God has heard our prayers.  Adversely, the ripple effect is also created by abortion.  Don't forget one-fifth of our generation is missing because of abortion.  How many siblings, cousins, friends, soulmates, nieces, nephews, grandchildren, co-workers, leaders, teachers, heroes, and saints are missing because they weren't given the same chance at life as everyone else?  This is tragic.

My heart is extremely sad seeing all of the misguided, frustrated, and aggressive people who are upset that their desire to kill a baby in the womb is not protected in our constitution.  I'm praying very hard for them and I'm so glad to come together with my fellow pro-lifers who are doing the same.  We're definitely motivated to converse and educate so that all may come to know the truth about abortion and why every single life matters.

If you're like me, this historic event has inspired and invigorated me to work harder than ever to make abortion unthinkable.  So what can we do right now?  

• First of all, we can pray.  Pray your rosary every day.  Pray for the end of abortion in our country and throughout the world.  Pray for the mothers, fathers, and families who are considering abortion, have had an abortion, or are confused by all of this.  Pray that lost souls will turn to seek the truth and strive to do what is right.  Pray for the reign of Christ the King.  May His Sacred Heart and the Immaculate Heart of Mary guide our works and bless them.

• Educate yourself.  This one is so important because as you get involved in the pro-life movement, you will be asked questions whether by your peers, social media contacts, fellow pro-lifers, or even the news media.  It's important to know some basic facts and the right way to approach the issues.  Students for Life of America has the info you need to learn all about the pro-life stance!

• Be vocal on social media.  Don't be harsh; don't be rude.  Return charity for hate.  I don't believe in using social media to bash or attack anyone but I do believe it can be a useful tool for educating our friends, family, and acquaintances.

• Put your money where your mouth is, or better yet, where your values are.  Even if you can't afford to donate great sums of money to the pro-life cause at the moment, we can use our day-to-day dollars to make a stand.  Many companies are going to pay for their employees' travel expenses to obtain an abortion out of state.  (Here's a list from the New York Times.)  You don't want your money funding these expenses so cancel your subscriptions and find alternative brands/stores.  It's not hard.  It may sting a little, but in the long run, it is more than worth it.

• Donate!  Even if you can't donate money, pro-life resources need lots of other things such as cribs, car seats, dresser drawers, onesies, diapers, blankets, etc.  Reach out to your local pregnancy resource center and maternity home to find out what they need!

• Volunteer!  Also a great option especially for students this summer.  Whether you're in high school and would like to help by babysitting, cleaning, or organizing a diaper drive, you're not too young to help out!  The abortion industry wants to come after you but you can be strong and help the cause of life.  Summer is also a great time for college students home on break to get involved with their local pregnancy center.  No matter your age, there is something for you to do in the pro-life movement whether you're 15 or 50!  Reach out to your local pro-life organizers to find ways you can help.

I hope and pray you are inspired by these ideas and motivated by this victory for life to keep praying, keep working, and to keep advocating for life until abortion becomes unthinkable.  I'm so thankful to God that our country has taken a step to correct its wrong and that life is winning in America.  The road ahead of us is long and won't be easy but if we start today with the small steps, sooner than later we'll be making great strides in promoting the culture of life in our communities, our country, and our world.

For life,

Sarah