16 Things to Expect When Dating a Catholic Woman: My Revision

 If you come across a list-type article claiming to be Catholic on secular blog sites such as The Odyssey Online or BuzzFeed, spare yourself and don't bother clicking on them.  😅  I've seen a couple quick lists like this before and while they're written by someone claiming to be Catholic, they usually do not reflect Holy Mother Church's teaching but a very secular, haphazard view of Catholic life.  They're pretty goofy and fall short of what to expect of true Catholic girls.  So today, I'd like to revise this list of 16 things to expect when dating a Catholic girl.  The original list was directed mostly to non-Catholic men but I think even Catholic men can take notes from this list.

First issue: You don't date a Catholic, you court her with the purpose of discerning marriage!  😉

Second issue: The article claims "Depending on the woman or her intensity, don't worry about her forcing her religion upon you. It's a stereotype."  That's true, but we will desire and pray for your conversion!  We don't force but we definitely want to be instruments of God's grace and will naturally bring up the beauty of the Faith anytime we can!  The goal of matrimony is to get our spouses and children to Heaven, of course!

Now, on to the 16 things to expect.  I've taken each title from the article and then revised it or given my comments below:

1. Church before dates

       

    This is one they do get right. Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation are super important to her faith. If she asks you to go along, do!! Just use your senses to take in the beautiful sights and sounds of Holy Mass. The Mass is the source and summit of her Catholic Faith so she would highly appreciate your respect and attention.

2. She respects her body

    Yes, this title is true, but according to Catholic teaching and contrary to the caption in the odyssey's list, a true Catholic couple will always save themselves for marriage because the right to the other person's body is a gift of matrimony.  So not only does she respect her own body, but she respects yours.  If your relationship doesn't work out, you will not have given yourselves to each other prematurely and you will have protected the gift of yourself for the person you marry.  This statement could go one step further because some Catholic girls may want to save other physical parts of a relationship for engagement or even the wedding day such as handholding and kissing.  It may sound weird at first but saving these bonding moments for the time when the two people are wholly committed to each other allows for courtship to be a fruitful time of getting to know one another without creating harmful attachments or distractions. 

3. Her family and friends mean the world to her

    Ok, also correct.  Not only does the Catholic girl appreciate you respecting her family but she's actually watching to see how you treat her family and your own.  A girl can tell a lot about how you will treat her by the way you treat your own mother, sisters, and other women in your life.  The fruits of marriage are family life so a Catholic girl wants to make sure you will provide and care for your future family.

4. She is loyal to a fault

    Loyal?  Yes.  To a fault?  Eeehhh... 🤔  A true Catholic girl will have her priorities of loyalty straight.  She is loyal to God first and foremost.  A Catholic young woman should also be loyal to her father who is her head until she is given away in matrimony.  And then to a degree, she is loyal to her friends.  Yes, we are called to forgive our enemies and pray for those who persecute us, but that most certainly does not mean a girl has to put up with any shenanigans.  From the points above, you can tell that a Catholic girl values virtue and faithfulness.

5. She will be praying for you and encouraging you to pray

    

    Also, not wrong.  Again, a Catholic woman will not "force" her religion upon you, but if she cares about you that means that she cares about your eternal soul even more.  She knows that each and every person was created for eternity in Heaven contemplating God in all His perfection and united in perfect charity with the saints and angels.  So you can be sure she's praying for your conversion; for your openness to God's grace and His merciful love to be poured into your heart.

6. Divorce scares her

   

     "Scares" is an interesting and inaccurate word to use.  A Catholic young woman shouldn't even believe in divorce.  When you say "I do", it is until death do you part and not before.  A discussion of your opinions on divorce should definitely be had but do not be deterred by her rejection of divorce.  This means that she values the sacrament of Matrimony and her vow to her future husband.  Once she is married, she is in it for the long haul to pick up her cross alongside her husband and follow Christ.

7. She may want a big family

    To be more accurate, a Catholic girl will be open to as many children as the Good Lord wills to send.  God's first commandment to man is to be fruitful and multiply. (See Genesis 1:28.)  The purpose of marriage is to create more souls for the kingdom of Heaven and to work to get them there.  So sure, a Catholic young woman may want a big family, but more importantly, she wants a family according to God's providence.

8. She loves to talk about the future

    Ok, true.  She will most definitely be interested in knowing your views on a slew of questions and will seek to discover what virtues you value.  Dating, or more appropriately, courting is the time when two people get to know if they would be suitable matches for each other in marriage.  It's naturally a time of questions about the future!

9. She'll always love God above all things

    100% true statement.  Not only should you respect that, but you should appreciate it!  She loves Love Himself and this love is being poured into her heart to be shared with all those she comes in contact with.  This is not a superficial or mushy kind of love.  It is charity; willing the good of the other.  So because she has a deep love of God, she will also love those whom God gives her very deeply with a self-giving and sacrificial love.

10. She may tell you all about her favorite Saints

  

     Guilty as charged.  They're not just our fairy tales like the article attests, but they're so much more!  (We like fairy tales too, by the way.)  The Saints are actual people of history who lead exemplary and heroic lives of virtue.  They are our role models who are now also our intercessors in Heaven.  Not only will a Catholic girl pray for you, but she'll also recruit her heavenly team of patron Saints to pray for you as well.  When she starts to tell you about her favorite Saints, listen and learn about her rich Catholic history!

11. She may be a little naughty

    Ok, this is where they lose it.  The whole caption of this one... *cringe*  Catholic girls who know the teachings of the Church know the rules are there to help us get to Heaven.  We love Holy Mother Church and want to be her humble children listening trustingly to Her teachings.  A Catholic girl shouldn't want to push boundaries because that could result in her being outside of God's grace and offending the Lord she loves.  Does this mean Catholic girls don't know how to have fun?  Of course not!  But she knows she doesn't have to sacrifice her virtue or reputation to have it.

12. Holidays are really important to her

    Ok, nice little diversion there after number 11.  🙄  Yes, the Holy Days of the Church are very important to her.  Each of these feasts is a great opportunity for grace and to celebrate the Faith that is so dear to her.

13. Her favorite TV shows may be all on TV Land

   

     Eh, maybe.  Andy Griffith, I Love Lucy, and other classic TV shows are favorites but I'll be willing to bet a lot of her favorite TV shows are based on classic books.  Think Pride & Prejudice, Emma, Anne of Green Gables (Not you, Netflix 😡), North & South, All Creatures Great & Small, and other classics.  If it involves chivalry, virtue, sweeping country scapes, and tea, count her in! 😉  Movies on the lives of the Saints are also a huge plus.  

14. Her dream vacation is somewhere in Europe

   

     Ha!  That is probably true.  Good job on that one.

15. She will love you unconditionally

    'Unconditionally' is a strong word for dating, but I think the sentiment is true.  A Catholic woman's love is strong, true, self-sacrificing, and Christ-like.  It has so much more depth than a self-seeking and carnal "love."  But the article is right; you do not want to mistreat her or disrespect this love because...

16. She is fierce

    This soldier of Christ has an invisible army of angels and Saints assisting her on this journey to Heaven.  

So, what do you think?  Was the original list good enough?  Was I just copying a sufficient list?  Or was it sorely lacking in the beautiful benefits of discerning marriage with a Catholic woman?  Please let me know what you thought in the comments below!  What are some other things to expect when courting a Catholic woman?  I thought this was a fun little revision to do in light of true Catholicism.  I hope you enjoyed it!!

In cordibus Jesu et Mariae,

Sarah